Thursday, July 28, 2011

Wish I was home

It is the wee hours of the morning and I just finished going over my mom's notes for the eulogy she will give later at my Grandma's funeral. As I was talking to my mom about how she died, she said, "Grandma got just what she wanted." She was not in pain, and it wasn't long and drawn out. She was ready and she was at peace. I spoke with her more in the last few weeks. Whenever I thought about her I'd give her a quick call. She told me she loved me and was proud and amazed at what Tony and I have accomplished in the few years that we have been married. She told me not to come, that she wouldn't want to put me out and that she knew how very much I loved her. She said she was grateful for the medication that kept the pain at bay. I told her I thought Grandpa was impatiently waiting for her and was probably bugging Heavenly Father to call her home to him. Every time she said she loved me I knew she meant it. When Grandpa was so sick I saw a moment between them that I will always remember. She bent down by his bed, holding his hand with one of hers and with the other tenderly stroking his head, murmuring softly, and him looking up at her, adoring. She kissed his forehead. Sixty four years together! One year apart was enough.
I am so honored to have known her and to--physically and spiritually--have part of her in me. Knowing that makes me believe that I can be a better person, that I can be like her in ways that I wish I was.
Dad and Val, I am so sorry that you lost your mom. I am sorry that I am not there, but I hope you can feel that I am there in spirit!
All my love,
Shayna